Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Fallen Off the Wagon

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Wednesday, May 17, 2017 0 comments Links to this post


I would be lying if I didn’t say that I have fallen off the wagon at least 30 times since I started Weight Watchers again. I just can’t seem to get my head wrapped around the obvious! I hate it! I hate being this person who is totally out of control.

Normally my day starts off well, by come 10am (most of the time) it seems all over for the day. My days start at 5:00am. So hey, at least I made it 5 hours right? OK not funny, but just honest!

For whatever reason my tape worm seems to be out of control these days and it seems to have no leash at all.  It’s so annoying and heartbreaking, because I just can’t seem to stop.

I can blame a lot things going on right now. Waiting to hear back from a potential promotion, waiting to hear where we are moving and dreading and vacation coming up. When people hear vacation they get excited but this vacation I have no desire to be part of so I am not looking forward to it. So much on my plate that is weighing me down. I don’t want to blame any of those things. I just want to admit that maybe I am not trying hard enough.

Instead of listening to the cravings I need to:
  1. Take a walk
  2. Wait 10 extra minutes and see if the craving passes
  3. Drink a glass of water and wait
  4. Think about why I am hungry and if I really am or not.

I know that I am in the same boat with a million other people who fight this shit on a daily bases. I need to work it out for me and my own peace. I have so many hopes that are daily being dash because I can’t get it together. It’s one big sob story. Wah! 

Sunday, March 26, 2017

This is Me ... Fully Exposed

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Sunday, March 26, 2017 0 comments Links to this post




Just a little while ago I started watching “This is Us.” I am starting from the beginning because I am behind. I never thought I would identify so much with Kate but I do. I realized that every aspect of my life since I was 10 years old has been about my weight and how it’s going to affect my next move in life… whatever that move might be.

Will I be able to fit in the airplane seat? Is that person laughing in general or are they laughing at me? Will I be able to find a prom dress, and even if I do, what difference does it make because no one is asking me to go anyway. And no one did …

If I do ____ will people make fun of me? Insert whatever I might have been planning on doing. Most of the time I didn’t (and don’t) have to worry about it because I just stayed home so I didn’t have to worry or be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself. Sometimes I think I am my own comedy or disaster, both are funny to the outside world. Both make me cry.

Does it even matter how old you get? Will you always feel like the world is looking at your differently or like you are a running fat joke? I don’t think it matters. If you are fat, you are different, and different people will always be made fun of, or they will be looked at as outsiders.

I think I am in such a dark place right now. I binged all weekend long. After having a great few days I let it all go to hell because one mistake made me lose control. I realized that I counted one lunch incorrectly and let it spin into two days of eating and hell.

I don’t think I will ever learn what is OK and what is not. What will make me binge and what will keep me on track? No matter what I always choose the wrong direction. You would think I had no will power at all. Maybe I don’t?

I am so thankful that tomorrow starts a new day and I get another chance. It might be chance one million but it’s still another chance. I am sad I am hurting and my period should be starting soon much is only complicating things I suppose.


I hope and pray this will be a better week coming up. I am down 11.8 pounds for the month of March which is huge considering I was since for a chunk of it. Time will tell if this time is the last time, but here I am anyway working my weight down. 

Monday, March 20, 2017

Menu Plan Monday -Weight Watchers Week #2

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, March 20, 2017 0 comments Links to this post


I thought I would start a menu plan each week incorporating what I am eating on Weight Watchers for dinner. I might even throw in a few snack ideas and lunch ideas each week. Let’s face it sometimes it’s hard to come up with ideas that are different and delicious but still are low in points. Here is what my meals will look like this week. I have included some snacks too. My lunches will be pretty cup and dry, soup, salads, or sandwiches. Lunches for me are nothing special that's for sure!! I will try to post what I have had each day and maybe some thoughts on the day or what I had so that you will gets some ideas. We all need new ideas. 

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:
  • Homemade burgers (45 calorie bread 1 smart point per slice)
  • Mini Tots (4 smart points 15 tots)

Friday:
  • Soup  (Bear Creek cups 9 points)
  • Grilled Cheese (45 calorie bread 1 smart point per slice)

Saturday:
  • Free Meal Dinner

Sunday:

Snacks:
  • Grapes
  • Bananas 
  • Strawberries
  • Berries
  • SmartPop popcorn (2 -3 smart points)
  • Premier Protein Drinks (3 smart points)
  • Carrot sticks and Hummus
  • Yogurt (Chobani Simply 100)
For More Menu Plan Ideas Visit OrgJunkie.com

Saturday, March 18, 2017

It's Been Too Long ... Fresh Start, New Beginnings and Weight Watchers

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, March 18, 2017 0 comments Links to this post


I can’t believe it’s been so long since I have been on here. I started my first real career job in August of 2015 and have since let everything else go to hell. I was doing well with losing weight then I gave up on myself. Giving up on myself doesn’t seem like the correct way to put it because I didn’t do it consciously it just happened. I let life get in the way of my goals.

Finally I am in a financially comfortable spot and I am getting my shit together. Now it’s time to get my weight under control too. I joined Weight Watchers again two weeks ago and lost over 8 pounds. I am pretty proud of that. This past week I had the flu and just walked away. Sorry but when you feel like shit the last thing you want to do is count points. 


Monday I am back to it so I thought this would be a great time to revive this blog too. I have missed being able to express myself even if no one is listening. Sometimes it feels good just to vent. So here I am Kody at Skinny Sized working up the nerve to shed this coat and move forward.

I had a lot of excuses in the past like getting through college, money issues, and trying to find a job. Now I have none of those issues to bitch about. It’s all me and all real so here it goes.

To be honest with you I love Weight Watchers. It allows you to eat what you want but you have to think and weight your pros and cons at the same time. I started out with 45 points but I am already down a few points which is cool because that’s progress. I love that I can have fruit and veggies and not be punished for it. This new Smart Points plan allows you to eat healthier and you are reward for it too.


I am looking forward to this journey again. I need to lose weight because I want to feel good again. I am certainly not getting any younger that’s for sure. Here is to a fresh start and new beginnings. 
 

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