Saturday, May 23, 2015

I Wish You Could See Me as Being More Than Invisible… I Have Feelings Too

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, May 23, 2015


I was reading an article the other day that really caught my eye. The women in the article mentioned that she realized how people avoided her in social situations because of her weight. She said she felt invisible around people she didn’t know. The avoidance made her feel invisible to the world.

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Invisible… that is the perfect world to define have I have been feeling all of these years. I could feel her pain because I realize that when I am in social situations most of the time I am invisible too. It’s funny that people who are uncomfortable around someone over weight will avoid them at all cost and make them invisible. The looks, the stares, or just simply looking through someone else makes them feel invisible.
I always find humor in the fact that my husband and I can be in a social situation where people will be conversing with him like it’s going out of style whereas I could stand there will a purple gorilla suit on and they wouldn’t even notice that I was in the room much less standing right next to him. He doesn’t need to lose weight. He is in great shape… his wife on the other hand… well I am a shape!

Why is it that people feel uncomfortable around others that are overweight? Does being overweight make others feel so uncomfortable that they can’t even make eye contact? Does someone overweight make them sick to their stomachs, or make them feel disgusted in general? I don’t get it. Aren’t we all human? Does our weight define who we are? When people avoid you because of your weight they are defining that as who you are. You are nothing more than FAT!

For those people it doesn’t matter if you are well educated, a good person, wealthy, poor, generous, funny, personable, black, white, purple, short, tall, pretty, or even ugly. Nothing matters but the fact that you are FAT! You could be the smartest, nicest, person in the world but all they will see is a FAT person daring to stand in the same room with them.

It makes me sad. It hurts me when I am in a room and it’s obvious someone doesn’t want to deal with me because of my weight. It doesn’t hurt any less based on the person who is making you feel less human that you may already feel. I am not saying everyone feels thing way, but I am saying I have encountered that feeling far more than I should have. I wouldn’t avoid a little person because they are different than I am or a person with downs syndrome because we are not the same. Would you avoid someone who is bald because they are doing chemo? I would hope not. I suppose those avoiders would come back and say that I am making the choice to be FAT the people mentioned above don’t have a choice…

I remember being at Walmart one day and this lady deliberating hit me hard with her cart. When I turned back and looked at her she said “well if you were not so FAT I wouldn’t have had to hit you to get you out of my way” …”you deserve what you get for being so FAT”… She never asked me to move or even indicated she needed where I was at. I don’t even know that she had been on the aisle until just before it happened. I still want to cry thinking about it. I was standing in the aisle innocently off on the side picking something off the shelf only to be hit intentionally just because she felt she could. My life literally had no worth in the world to this lady. I deserved nothing to her! I especially didn’t deserve respect or kindness. You are FAT you deserve nothing except abuse because you are worthless. She didn’t say that, but I suppose she didn’t have to. This was a middle aged women who just wanted to be mean because she could. It was all I could do not to shove the basket back at her but I knew the way I was feeling I would hurt her and I would have assault charges brought against me. She wasn’t worth it. I just wish I knew why it was necessary? I had never seen her in my life, never had an encounter with her at any point, but for some reason she felt she had a valid reason to attack me because simply put… I was FAT!

When did being FAT mean you were no longer human, and you no longer had feelings? When did being FAT mean that people no longer had to use manners towards you, or the rules no longer applied when they had to deal with you? Why do some people feel they have the right to belittle you because you are not like them?

I am not justifying being overweight! I don’t want to be overweight. I am not one of those people who thinking being FAT is OK or healthy or beautiful.  BUT why is it necessary for us all to be the same? There seems to be a model of perfection in today’s society and apparently it’s between a size 0 and a size 8. If you don’t fit within that model then you are the problem. The model is not the problem the FAT size 10 person (LOL can you imagine?) is the problem.

We really live in a sick society where we all are expected to fit into the same box with the same label. I want to lose weight but I don’t want to look like you, or wear the same clothes as you, or have the same things you have. I want to be me. I have blonde hair, green eyes, I am 5’4”, I have a heart, I have feelings, I cry, I laugh, I bleed, I have a Bachelor’s degree, I like to have fun, love to scuba dive, travel, play with makeup, paint my toenails, and at least two people in this world love me.

I wish you could look beyond my exterior and see that I have an interior too… and this interior looks just like yours. 

1 comments:

Nanette N. on May 25, 2015 at 1:21:00 PM CDT said...

woof. I know this feeling. I've been there... passed up or not taken seriously because of size. One of my biggest worries has been that as I lose weight, I may become one of THEM.

Good post. Very thought provoking and well expressed.

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