Thursday, May 28, 2015

Why Are Department Stores Embarrassed by Plus Sized Clothing?

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Thursday, May 28, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

Have you ever noticed that plus sized clothing is always shoved in the back of every department store? Looking for the plus size department is like an archeology dig. By the time you actually find the plus size department you have either lost 20 pounds or you are extinct like the dinosaurs.

It’s the craziest thing I have ever seen. When I see that a department store has buried the plus size department on the 3rd floor in the back near the bathrooms and the dish towels I feel like they are saying… “You are so fat that you should be ashamed to be in the front.” “You know you are embarrassed to be your size and we are embarrassed for you so we are hiding you in the back.” “We don’t want others to see the embarrassment on your face so we are hiding you away.” I don’t get it…  I know I am not what they want to showcase but why carry the clothing I wear if they are embarrassed to have me in their stores?

Don’t get me wrong I am not proud to be shopping in the plus size department but I will tell you that my money is the same color as the person who wears a size 2 and it spends the same. I get that these department stores want the perfectly pretty out in front but the last time I check the majority of the United States is overweight …not the other way around.

Let’s get real here… Plus size clothing’s costs a hell of a lot more money than smaller sizes so the department stores are making a nice extra hunk of change on us. You can see the same outfit in misses that happens to be in plus size but you are going to pay a lot more for it. I understand that larger sizes means more cloth which means more money. I get that! But I also don’t believe that these manufactures are using so much more material that the price should be double. If you are going to charge more money for plus sizes then shouldn’t I at least be able to find the plus size department without needing to bring in Inspector Gadget to hunt the department down?

Many fashion designers are starting to figure out that there is a market for nice plus size clothing. Can you imagine that it has taken them this long to figure it out? I have read where some designers have gone as far as to say that they won’t make plus size clothing because they don’t want FAT people wearing their clothing’s because it doesn’t fit their “image!” No problem… Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren like my money… clearly they are not picky and they make awesome plus size clothing!

The catch phrase of the moment is “fat shaming” well in my opinion placing the plus size department in the last place in the department store you would ever look is a form of fat shaming. I suppose until we change our size we should expect to be an embarrassment to department stores. We should expect to be put in the back for not being like everyone else. We should expect to be segregated from the rest of the population…. Hummmm sound familiar?

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

It's OK to be Different...

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Tuesday, May 26, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

A few days ago my mom and I went out for lunch. Maybe I should clarify I went with her. My stomach was a mess thanks to drainage and that TOM. I sat there talking to her while she ate. I ended up eating her flour tortilla which actually made my stomach feel better.  As I was sitting there I noticed a very large woman sitting down and across from me.

This woman was probably 700 pounds or more. At some point the number doesn’t matter ….she was a large woman. Don’t mistake my observations for judgement because I certainly wasn’t judging her.  Hell I have no room to judge anyone nor would I do such a thing… I hope!

The first thing I observed about her was the fact that she could hardly fit in the chair. You could not even see the chair anymore. She was sitting there eating a massive amount of food. I get the amount of food because it would take a lot of fill her up. She wouldn’t be eating what someone who weighed 150 pounds would be eating and still be satisfied. It’s understandable…

The first thing that stood out to me while I was looking her way was how did she find clothes that fit? I had a hard enough time finding clothes to fit me when I was looking for something to wear to graduation and she is 1.5 times my size. That must be something that she struggles with daily either that or she just wears the same things over and over. In some ways I could sympathize except I just don’t buy a ton of clothes because I am hoping to be too small for them one day…

When she stood up to leave every eye in the restaurant was on her. I figured I was sympathizing with her, and most everyone else was judging her or making fun of her. She got on a city bus designed for people with special needs and rode away.

It made me sad. It made me hurt. It made me realize that it doesn’t matter your size or the amount of weight you need to lose. We are all in this struggle together. Regardless of if she is trying to change her life or not she is a human.  I know that if I feel people laughing at me or making fun of me at my size I can only imagine what she has to go through. It doesn’t matter how long you have had to deal with something we all have feelings. 

We all feel pain and hurt. We all want to be accepted. We all want to be loved…

Saturday, May 23, 2015

I Wish You Could See Me as Being More Than Invisible… I Have Feelings Too

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, May 23, 2015 1 comments Links to this post

I was reading an article the other day that really caught my eye. The women in the article mentioned that she realized how people avoided her in social situations because of her weight. She said she felt invisible around people she didn’t know. The avoidance made her feel invisible to the world.

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Invisible… that is the perfect world to define have I have been feeling all of these years. I could feel her pain because I realize that when I am in social situations most of the time I am invisible too. It’s funny that people who are uncomfortable around someone over weight will avoid them at all cost and make them invisible. The looks, the stares, or just simply looking through someone else makes them feel invisible.
I always find humor in the fact that my husband and I can be in a social situation where people will be conversing with him like it’s going out of style whereas I could stand there will a purple gorilla suit on and they wouldn’t even notice that I was in the room much less standing right next to him. He doesn’t need to lose weight. He is in great shape… his wife on the other hand… well I am a shape!

Why is it that people feel uncomfortable around others that are overweight? Does being overweight make others feel so uncomfortable that they can’t even make eye contact? Does someone overweight make them sick to their stomachs, or make them feel disgusted in general? I don’t get it. Aren’t we all human? Does our weight define who we are? When people avoid you because of your weight they are defining that as who you are. You are nothing more than FAT!

For those people it doesn’t matter if you are well educated, a good person, wealthy, poor, generous, funny, personable, black, white, purple, short, tall, pretty, or even ugly. Nothing matters but the fact that you are FAT! You could be the smartest, nicest, person in the world but all they will see is a FAT person daring to stand in the same room with them.

It makes me sad. It hurts me when I am in a room and it’s obvious someone doesn’t want to deal with me because of my weight. It doesn’t hurt any less based on the person who is making you feel less human that you may already feel. I am not saying everyone feels thing way, but I am saying I have encountered that feeling far more than I should have. I wouldn’t avoid a little person because they are different than I am or a person with downs syndrome because we are not the same. Would you avoid someone who is bald because they are doing chemo? I would hope not. I suppose those avoiders would come back and say that I am making the choice to be FAT the people mentioned above don’t have a choice…

I remember being at Walmart one day and this lady deliberating hit me hard with her cart. When I turned back and looked at her she said “well if you were not so FAT I wouldn’t have had to hit you to get you out of my way” …”you deserve what you get for being so FAT”… She never asked me to move or even indicated she needed where I was at. I don’t even know that she had been on the aisle until just before it happened. I still want to cry thinking about it. I was standing in the aisle innocently off on the side picking something off the shelf only to be hit intentionally just because she felt she could. My life literally had no worth in the world to this lady. I deserved nothing to her! I especially didn’t deserve respect or kindness. You are FAT you deserve nothing except abuse because you are worthless. She didn’t say that, but I suppose she didn’t have to. This was a middle aged women who just wanted to be mean because she could. It was all I could do not to shove the basket back at her but I knew the way I was feeling I would hurt her and I would have assault charges brought against me. She wasn’t worth it. I just wish I knew why it was necessary? I had never seen her in my life, never had an encounter with her at any point, but for some reason she felt she had a valid reason to attack me because simply put… I was FAT!

When did being FAT mean you were no longer human, and you no longer had feelings? When did being FAT mean that people no longer had to use manners towards you, or the rules no longer applied when they had to deal with you? Why do some people feel they have the right to belittle you because you are not like them?

I am not justifying being overweight! I don’t want to be overweight. I am not one of those people who thinking being FAT is OK or healthy or beautiful.  BUT why is it necessary for us all to be the same? There seems to be a model of perfection in today’s society and apparently it’s between a size 0 and a size 8. If you don’t fit within that model then you are the problem. The model is not the problem the FAT size 10 person (LOL can you imagine?) is the problem.

We really live in a sick society where we all are expected to fit into the same box with the same label. I want to lose weight but I don’t want to look like you, or wear the same clothes as you, or have the same things you have. I want to be me. I have blonde hair, green eyes, I am 5’4”, I have a heart, I have feelings, I cry, I laugh, I bleed, I have a Bachelor’s degree, I like to have fun, love to scuba dive, travel, play with makeup, paint my toenails, and at least two people in this world love me.

I wish you could look beyond my exterior and see that I have an interior too… and this interior looks just like yours. 

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Stop Beating Yourself Up and Move on...

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Wednesday, May 20, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I hope your week is going well so far. I would be lying if I said mine was going well weight loss wise. I seemed to have gotten stuck in a rut this week. I think I have been focusing so much on getting things cleaned up around the house and back in order that before I knew it we are sitting here at Wednesday.

No worries! There is time to refocus. I have been thinking a lot of the future and what I want and where I see myself. It’s time for action and not just think about it you know what I mean.

I have been doing pretty well with my water this week. I had about 1/3 of a can of soda yesterday but ended up giving it to my husband. My taste and drive for soda are gone thank goodness. I really love true lemon and true lime in my water bottles these days plus their drop-ins because there are made with Stevia.

I have been super tired this week. A week ago yesterday I was taking my last finals so in a way I am giving myself a break. It's only been a week. I have earned a break. I am not going to beat myself up over a crappy week so far. Right now I am just getting my stuff together. 

I hope you guys are doing good and making magic this week!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Graduation Day... and REALITY!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, May 16, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

Hi guys,

Yes, it’s been at least a week since I have posted. A lot of stuff has happened in a week. In a week I finished finals, and I graduated from college. Those are crying words in my book. I am no kid I am 38 so college should have been done for me in 2000 like all of my other friends. I have always been late to the party. I could go on and on as to why they graduated before I did but it’s not the time or place so instead I will move on and move forward.

So for me graduation day was totally bitter sweet. The graduating was awesome the squeezing my fat ass in the gown was not so sweet. Ugh! It was tight and uncomfortable and just simply miserable. Yep it was bad. It didn’t look terrible but it was not a happy thing to be squished into.

At one point I heard it rip around the zipper. Just about 1 inch from the gown and the zipper but nothing anyone would even notice. I have to admit it scared the crap out of me. The awesome part was hearing someone much smaller say the same thing. One size fits all is a joke because it does not fit all it fits most or even some…

I think it was a rude eye opener to reality. It made me feel so sad that once again here I am at another “happiest day of my life” situation and I am fat and miserable around tiny little people. SIGH! So any-who the good news is I will have some stress relief coming up because school is over. Until I decide to go to grad school but I am not looking to that until maybe the spring. I am in need of a major break.

I am committed to getting my life back now. I am ready to give 100% because I am so tired of being me. I was so exhausted after graduation. I just wanted it to all be over. Now that it’s over I am happy to be moving on and being free!

The good news is I have broken my soda habit. I have no desire at all for it. Even when I drink it i feel nothing. I have been drinking water by the butt load and loving it! That is a great accomplishment especially during finals and a ton of stress!

I hope you are all doing well. I will try to post a weigh in on Sunday to get everything started. I am starting up on Monday because I have a graduation dinner and so on going on this weekend and sadly the food choice will be made for me and limited. 

Thursday, May 7, 2015

And the Failure Continued...and then it STOPPED

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Thursday, May 07, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

Wow the last three days have been nothing but failure. It all started with no having any veggies on hand for juicing, then when I finally got them I ended up being late on dinner then dinner became pizza which somehow lead to the next day which meant I binged on everything I could get my hands on then yesterday my husband once again  brought pizza home and ice cream.

No more! I am over it I finally told him no more too… help me not hurt me. I could tell he felt horrible. To be honest with you I hadn’t really convey to him that I was trying to take care of myself again. I just flew under the radar because sometimes I feel like telling him and the family brings too much attention to it and I end up failing because everything is so concerned or they make me feel weird if I eat something that they don’t consider being part of the weight loss spectrum.

I am kind of going light at it at this moment because I am in the middle of finals with graduation literally I week away so I am not being hard on myself because I am way overloaded and stressed so I am not being critical or too anal.

After the 17th though it’s on and I mean on! I will have time to workout and cook and do all the things I have been wanting to do for month. This has honestly been a problem since November when I fell off the wagon. School has been insane since then. The last two semester of college what do you expect right?

I am still doing my juicing and have it all ready for the day. For dinner tonight we will be having fajita chicken and maybe a big salad. At least that is what I am having. Everyone else will have other things too probably like maybe some corn and beans.

I am thinking of using the macro system when I go full force after graduation. So far I don’t really understand how it all works but I hope to find some information when I have time too. I hope you guys are all doing well. I am super happy to report that I had a sip of soda yesterday and the taste to me was horrible. I have been drinking a ton of water and drinking my fresh carrot apple juice. Loving it!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Failure... Starts with a BIG F!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Tuesday, May 05, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I have heard that day four of a half ass juice fast can be the hardest day and yesterday is was a yesterday I failed and failed miserably.

It started with no having veggies on hand to make juice, then having a flat which put me behind on dinner which caused me to have to bring in dinner which was pizza, which I overate on and which caused me to eat other things and well… it was just a nightmare and one that I don’t plan on reliving today.

I felt so guilt (still do) and so miserable for what I had done. I haven’t felt that overly full in a few days and quickly realized that I don’t miss that feeling of being so full you can’t move. Yes, the guilt was shining through…

Today is a new day and a fresh start and one that will not be a repeat of Monday because lord knows I will be playing catch up for Monday all week. Pizza like pasta is not for the health person. I am surprised there are any skinny Italians, but there are because they can eat healthy too… it’s all in what you want right? And it’s all in what you are willing to give up or switch up.

So here I am ready for a new day … I hope you all are as well… I have a new Instagram account if you are interested

Monday, May 4, 2015

Half Ass Half Juice Fast

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, May 04, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I have been MIA because I have been in the middle of finals and everything else I was behind on for my classes. I am now in the middle of my final…. Finals! Wahoo!! I am so excited that the college drama is over for at least a semester. In January I would like to start grad school but let’s focus on today for now.

On Friday I decided I was going to do a half juice fast. What do I mean by half juice? Sounds half assed right? Ha Ha it probably is but no it’s where I am juicing all day but I meal a day. One big healthy meal then the rest of my day is water or juice. I have even been doing smoothies consisting of carrot juice, apple juice and greens. All of this is fresh veggies and fruit of course. I decided to hop on the scale this morning to see if there are any changes and there are I went from 297 to 291 since Friday.

Now don’t get me wrong I know this will level off. I was just hoping to drop a few pounds in my last two weeks before graduation 6 pounds so far is a start but like I said I don’t anticipate a 2 pound loss each day but it would be awesome! I haven’t added exercise to this but I really need too. Right now dealing with the headaches alone has been a freaken nightmare. I have had a headache every single day since starting this adventure on Friday. I know the biggest reason is no caffeine and no soda at all. I went from drinking probably at least 4000 calories extra per week in soda to none in 3 days. That is huge for me. Yes, I am talking about regular soda too because I am allergic to aspartame and can’t drink diet soda anymore.

So far I am happy with the half ass half juice fast hahahah… that’s a good name for it. It can only be half or maybe ¾ if I am eating 1 regular meal a day right? As much as I have been OK doing this I don’t know if I would do it all the time or not. I would say no because it’s so limiting. I am half way through day 4 and still OK with it. I think knowing that you get one meal a day helps get your through verses when you are not getting anything but juice each day.

It can be expensive to do this especially if you are using organic. I went through a 5 pound bag of carrots, 1 pound bag of spinach, ½ bag of kale, 3 pound bag of apples, 1 pound bag of fruit in three days. That’s not too bad I figured in juice and smoothies. I figure just in juice it’s costing $5 a day, not including my meal, but I also might not be drinking enough either or maybe too much. I just have some when I am hungry or feeling sluggish that is it.
I have been drinking a lot of water and running to the bathroom like a crazy person for one reason or another … use your imagination. So far I am happy with my decision. Tonight I am going to Sam’s Club or Costco to load up on more fruits and veggies. Tonight for dinner will be roasted chicken, steamed broccoli, and steamed carrots. Maybe even a salad instead of carrots.

I hope you are all doing well!! Keep smiling! Keep Chugging Water! Keep your Faith!

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