Friday, April 24, 2015

And Just Like That... 20 Days to go!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Friday, April 24, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

This week was pretty much a nightmare from word go. I am exhausted and yet I still have a long week ahead and it’s Friday night. How is that possible right?
As my college graduation gets closer life has gotten crazier. I never thought the time would come when I was finally going to be done as a student. I am honestly tired. Tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. Just plain tired…

My mom had her check-up to make sure she was still cancer free a few days ago and I honestly didn’t know if I was going to ever get through that day. I swear the wait is the longest day of your life. Praise Jesus she is doing well. Watching the other people waiting in the doctor’s office going through what she went through a few years ago was tough. I remember those feelings and that blank look on your face. I remember everything but it’s going to be OK… you are in Jesus’s hands.

I had a test this week that almost broke me and got a grade back that did. I had a professor promise to help me and a husband that did. So many tears flowed this week and well so did Aunt Flow to explain all the tears. Lucky me!

I keep telling myself 20 more days… just 20 more days…. College was 1460 days + what’s 20 more? I can do this. I have a final tomorrow (Saturday) morning. A test on Tuesday… then one on May 4, 9, and two on the 12th then I graduate on the 14! Things are going to get crazier than they already are.

As for the weight loss front I stepped on the scale on Monday and believe I lost 5 pounds but the problem is that I was half asleep and forgot the number by the time I got dressed and realized I forgot the number no way was I getting undressed again. I must admit I was pleased with what I saw.

I am hoping to lose 10 pounds in the next 20 days. I know a bit extreme but probably not for someone my size. Anyway I hope you are all day well!! Happy weekend!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Where will you be in 100 days?

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Tuesday, April 14, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I was thinking about something that I considered to be a very interesting thought which was “where will you be in 100 days?” counting today that is July 23rd  I believe.  100 days means mid summer.

What is it that you can do with you life in 100 days. I suspect you could easily (depending on your starting weight) lose up to 50 pounds. You could break a lot of habits and you could change your entire life.

In the next 100 days I want to make some amazing changes. Will you join me on a 100 day count down? Let’s count it down, write it down, and make some amazing changes.

I have high hopes of the remainder of this year! We have 261 days until the end of the year. You can do this. You can make some changes that will change everything.

At this time next year you could be looking back and saying I DID IT! I MADE THOSE CHANGES.

Let’s do this!!

Monday, April 13, 2015

Happy Monday! Weight Update and Tears... OK Not Really, But....

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, April 13, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

Please ignore my gross toe nails. I haven't had time to invest in them!

Happy Monday everyone!! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Mine was pretty uneventful which can be good thing is!

I weighed in this morning to get some disappointing news. Nothing I wasn't expecting but sad at the same time. I lost 46 pounds but have gained most of it back since November! Working so hard then letting yourself go just doesn't make sense.

I really blew it. I am so disappointed in myself. I could have been down another 46 pounds by now but instead I am almost up the amount. Grrr!! I have no one to blame but myself but let it be an example that it can come back much easier than you lose it. Wow did it come back with a vengeance.

Monday was an OK day. I drake too much soda but it is what it is. I can't drink diet soda because I am allergic to artificial sweeteners. So it’s either regular or none. I need to go with none but that’s not always so easy for me.

My goal is to workout 5 days this week. I didn’t work out at all today but I still have plenty of time for Mondays weigh in.

This weeks is going to be crazy busy but I am hoping to make some real progress! I hope you all are doing well!!

Original Weight 310
My last weigh in was 265
Current weight 295.6
Down 14.4

Friday, April 10, 2015

Plantar Faciitis.... OUCH!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Friday, April 10, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

This morning as I stepped out of bed I was in extreme pain. I have had this pain before its Plantar Fasciitis and why do I have this pain? Because I have refused to throw away a pair of old tennis shoes and now I am paying the price.

When my shoes break down I always have extreme pain in the bottom of my heel up the back of the right foot towards my ankle and boy does it hurt. It only lasts a few days or so but until then I get to suffer. I have no one to blame but myself. I should have listened to my foot days ago.

The prognoses is good but I have to stay off my foot as much as possible and stay out of shoes as much as possible. I have new shoes I just didn’t want to wear them. I hate breaking in new shoes but this pain in far worse that breaking in new shoes pain.

Other than dealing with this crap the weekend is going to be nothing but rain here in Houston. We are looking at flooding conditions so I see a lot of hanging out at home. I am actually thinking of getting a bunch of spring cleaning done if I can. The good thing is I can do a lot of sitting while purging crap.

We are planning on a big move this summer so getting as much out of here is a good thing.
I still haven’t managed to weigh in this week. I have either been waking up so late that they numbers would be way off or I have been eating breakfast then realizing I forgot to weigh in. I will get that done in time for Monday.

I am hoping my foot will feel much better on Monday so that I can hit the bike and the treadmill or get in some good walks outside assuming the weather is better. Apparently we are due for a lot of April showers coming up the next week or so.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

(LATE) Weighting on Life Wednesdays: Swimming

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Thursday, April 09, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I have always loved to swim its second nature to me. For as long as I can remember it’s been very important to me until I started putting on weight. When the weight came the swimming went away. I think walking away from swimming has been the hardest thing that came with gaining weight.

I know it wasn't necessary for me to walk away but in my heart it was. I couldn't take that feeling of everyone staring at me or at least the idea of it anyway. Every summer I hope that this will be the one that I can finally feel comfortable swimming but one after another they come and go.

At some point you have to ask yourself how long are you going to keep doing this? How long are you going to allow weight to control every aspect of your life? It's sad when I think about all the wasted time and wasted years that I have done this same thing over and over.

Sometimes I feel like each year is just a repeat of the last with some good add and some bad added. It’s just the same other than that. I think that's sad, but yet I know that's what happens when food controls you or anything controls you for that matter. It's just sad...

I have had so many hopes and dreams that have never come to fruition because I have allowed my food intake to prevent those dreams from happening. In my world fat people or at least me don't wear swim suits which means I am missing out on the diving I love, the snorkeling I love and swimming in general. It's sad but it's true.... Now I think I am even sadder ugh! 

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Just a quick pop in!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Tuesday, April 07, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I forgot to weigh in on Monday so I still don't have a number. I am planning on weighing in tomorrow. This week has been a bit hectic and it’s only Tuesday. That's OK I am not focusing on the number anyway.

This week has been OK so far I haven't been doing much in between snacking which is huge for me. We ate out last night because life happened and we really needed to get dinner over with. We needed to get to bed and the clock was ticking. No worries. Keep in mind that if you lose all the weight you need too life will still happen and you will have no choice but to make other decisions.

I went and bought a few flats of water today because we were out. I need to drink more than I have been drinking but I am going to get there. One of the things I have to give up is soda. I can’t drink diet because I am allergic to artificial sweeteners. Which sucks about that is the fact that I can’t have anything with artificial sweeteners, no pudding, jello, and so on all the things that have gotten me through. I haven’t had any since December 20th. It’s really a good thing in the end even when it doesn’t feel like it.

I haven’t done any exercise this week which is not a good thing. I think I need to come up with a “life” schedule. That might sound weird but I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I have 6 weeks in college left and I will be done! So excited but so overwhelmed.

I hope all is well. If your blog is listed to the left I have been visiting. I would love to find some more blogs to follow for encouragement. If you have some you love or your own please leave me a message!!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Happy Holy Weekend!!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, April 04, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

Happy Holy Weekend!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Good Friday and you are ready to celebrate the Easter weekend. I spent the entire Friday writing a paper on binge eating, or maybe I should say I wrote a paper about the story of my life! Ha! Just kidding... well kind of...

This weekend my family is getting together for Easter Sunday. I have mixed feelings about it only because it seems to be a pig fest. Everyone eats like a mad person then can't move hours later. Plus Sunday is my last day of eating without thinking.

Monday life starts again. Honestly I am ready. I didn't think I would be but I am. I see a friend of mine who has really kicked up her workouts doing so well and I want to do well too. The sad part is I know her well enough to know it’s only temporary. You see she is that person that gets in 100% and goes so overboard from word go that within a few weeks she fails. Don't think I am saying this to be mean because I am not. I want her to succeed each time she tries, but when I see her so into the moment I know she is setting herself up for failure. I think she burns herself out because she tries so hard. I have never seen her make it more than a few months and that makes me sad. Don't get me wrong I am not much better I have made it all of 7 months before I failed. 

I no longer participate with her because when she quits I want to also and I can’t do that anymore. Even if I get derailed I have to start over the next day. I am looking forward to it all again. As weird as it sounds I am tired of being me and I am ready to be something new again.

So I am finishing up a menu for next week and coming up with a schedule for myself. Next week is going to be awesome. I will weigh in on Monday and give you guys all the details. It’s not going to be pretty but day 1 never is…
Happy Easter

Thursday, April 2, 2015

When You are Unhappy with Yourself

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Thursday, April 02, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

I think it really hit me Wednesday night how miserable I am. I am so miserable with just about everything in my life. My family aside might I add....

I have a lot of trama coming up in the next 6-18 weeks and I am starting to feel extremely overwhelmed. I graduate in 6 weeks then start looking for a job, then I am moving after that. Then let's top it off with school in general and weight loss is the icing on the cake.

I have been having a horrible time sleeping because I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I know there is nothing I can do but take it one step at a time but there are still times that I can't turn my brain off so that I can sleep. I guess I feel like my security blanket is coming to an end. I am excited and terrified at the same time.

I think my biggest issue of everything is being unhappy with myself. I just can't seem to get myself back on track and in control. I keep thinking I have to come up with a plan and stick to it. I have even been debating Weight Watchers again ugh! I am really not sure on that one... I feel like every day is an internal battle that I am losing when all I want to do is win and win big! I have been really grumpy with my family especially yesterday. Once again when you are unhappy with yourself you take it out on others and I feel terrible for that. I need to work on myself right now and get it together.

Just thinking outload. I hope all is well with you all...

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Weighting on Life Wednesdays: Roller Coasters

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Wednesday, April 01, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

There are so many things in life I realize I have either missed out on or continue to miss out on because of my weight. One of those things is riding roller coasters. I have always loved the thrill of the ride, but at some point in time you realize that your weight will be a factor on the coaster. It’s not that it’s necessarily an actual factor but it’s everything that comes with it…

  1. The looks people give you
  2. The question as to if you will fit with someone else or will be bar go down
  3. How much is too much to be on a roller coaster
  4. No one wanting to be crammed in with you
  5. Just the embarrassment in general

For me, not participating in something I love so much has been a better solution that actually dealing with factors 1-5. Don’t get me wrong I don’t blame anyone else. I don’t blame them for their looks. I wouldn’t want to be crammed in either. I don’t blame them fearing for their own lives and I certainly don’t blame the judgy-ness because I am no better.

I only blame this person…ME! the one who has allowed herself to get into this situation. I can’t even begin to list all the things in life I have missed out on because I have allowed my bad habits dictate my future. Isn’t that sad? Isn’t is sad that food has ruined my life in some ways.

Don’t get me wrong to date I have had a pretty good life for the most part. Like anyone I have had my ups and downs but I can’t imagine how much better my life might have been if I had never gained all this weight. If I had be “normal” so to speak.

Thinking about all that you are missing out on or have missed out on certainly gives you pause to think and just might give you a reason to make better decisions… 


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