Sunday, March 26, 2017

This is Me ... Fully Exposed

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Sunday, March 26, 2017 0 comments Links to this post




Just a little while ago I started watching “This is Us.” I am starting from the beginning because I am behind. I never thought I would identify so much with Kate but I do. I realized that every aspect of my life since I was 10 years old has been about my weight and how it’s going to affect my next move in life… whatever that move might be.

Will I be able to fit in the airplane seat? Is that person laughing in general or are they laughing at me? Will I be able to find a prom dress, and even if I do, what difference does it make because no one is asking me to go anyway. And no one did …

If I do ____ will people make fun of me? Insert whatever I might have been planning on doing. Most of the time I didn’t (and don’t) have to worry about it because I just stayed home so I didn’t have to worry or be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself. Sometimes I think I am my own comedy or disaster, both are funny to the outside world. Both make me cry.

Does it even matter how old you get? Will you always feel like the world is looking at your differently or like you are a running fat joke? I don’t think it matters. If you are fat, you are different, and different people will always be made fun of, or they will be looked at as outsiders.

I think I am in such a dark place right now. I binged all weekend long. After having a great few days I let it all go to hell because one mistake made me lose control. I realized that I counted one lunch incorrectly and let it spin into two days of eating and hell.

I don’t think I will ever learn what is OK and what is not. What will make me binge and what will keep me on track? No matter what I always choose the wrong direction. You would think I had no will power at all. Maybe I don’t?

I am so thankful that tomorrow starts a new day and I get another chance. It might be chance one million but it’s still another chance. I am sad I am hurting and my period should be starting soon much is only complicating things I suppose.


I hope and pray this will be a better week coming up. I am down 11.8 pounds for the month of March which is huge considering I was since for a chunk of it. Time will tell if this time is the last time, but here I am anyway working my weight down. 

Monday, March 20, 2017

Menu Plan Monday -Weight Watchers Week #2

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, March 20, 2017 0 comments Links to this post


I thought I would start a menu plan each week incorporating what I am eating on Weight Watchers for dinner. I might even throw in a few snack ideas and lunch ideas each week. Let’s face it sometimes it’s hard to come up with ideas that are different and delicious but still are low in points. Here is what my meals will look like this week. I have included some snacks too. My lunches will be pretty cup and dry, soup, salads, or sandwiches. Lunches for me are nothing special that's for sure!! I will try to post what I have had each day and maybe some thoughts on the day or what I had so that you will gets some ideas. We all need new ideas. 

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:
  • Homemade burgers (45 calorie bread 1 smart point per slice)
  • Mini Tots (4 smart points 15 tots)

Friday:
  • Soup  (Bear Creek cups 9 points)
  • Grilled Cheese (45 calorie bread 1 smart point per slice)

Saturday:
  • Free Meal Dinner

Sunday:

Snacks:
  • Grapes
  • Bananas 
  • Strawberries
  • Berries
  • SmartPop popcorn (2 -3 smart points)
  • Premier Protein Drinks (3 smart points)
  • Carrot sticks and Hummus
  • Yogurt (Chobani Simply 100)
For More Menu Plan Ideas Visit OrgJunkie.com

Saturday, March 18, 2017

It's Been Too Long ... Fresh Start, New Beginnings and Weight Watchers

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, March 18, 2017 0 comments Links to this post


I can’t believe it’s been so long since I have been on here. I started my first real career job in August of 2015 and have since let everything else go to hell. I was doing well with losing weight then I gave up on myself. Giving up on myself doesn’t seem like the correct way to put it because I didn’t do it consciously it just happened. I let life get in the way of my goals.

Finally I am in a financially comfortable spot and I am getting my shit together. Now it’s time to get my weight under control too. I joined Weight Watchers again two weeks ago and lost over 8 pounds. I am pretty proud of that. This past week I had the flu and just walked away. Sorry but when you feel like shit the last thing you want to do is count points. 


Monday I am back to it so I thought this would be a great time to revive this blog too. I have missed being able to express myself even if no one is listening. Sometimes it feels good just to vent. So here I am Kody at Skinny Sized working up the nerve to shed this coat and move forward.

I had a lot of excuses in the past like getting through college, money issues, and trying to find a job. Now I have none of those issues to bitch about. It’s all me and all real so here it goes.

To be honest with you I love Weight Watchers. It allows you to eat what you want but you have to think and weight your pros and cons at the same time. I started out with 45 points but I am already down a few points which is cool because that’s progress. I love that I can have fruit and veggies and not be punished for it. This new Smart Points plan allows you to eat healthier and you are reward for it too.


I am looking forward to this journey again. I need to lose weight because I want to feel good again. I am certainly not getting any younger that’s for sure. Here is to a fresh start and new beginnings. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Breathe in Breathe Out Move On...

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, January 18, 2016 0 comments Links to this post

Trader Joe's Spinach Yogurt Dip!!



I awkwardly I say… I have started my weightless journey over again… I have said that so many times that I almost want to make myself puke.
So let’s see where I left off… Yep it’s been forever…

When I last left you I couldn’t find a job and I was way down in the dumps. Life was super hard and money was tight as it could get. It was miserable. A few weeks later I landed my dream job. Can you believe it?

I have been there 5 months! I must admit it has its moments. I love the job… the boss on the other hand, not so much. I am going to stick with it because it’s great. With every good paying job comes a whole of bullshit and this job is no exception.
Since then I have not worried about my weight. As a matter of fact, I have tried to do everything but worry over it. It’s been a hard enough adjustment getting back in the working world and moving forward learning how to balance, work, family, and I time. It has not been easy at all.

Life was moving along well. The holidays were great, let’s be honest we could actually afford the holidays again, but then the New Year happened and so did a big loss in our family. Just last week we lost someone very special to us. The patriarch so to speak…

My uncle had a heart attack and which in turn broke everyone’s heart. It affected me so much that I am ready to make the changes needed to move forward in my life. Not skinny, not perfect, just healthy and happy. I am not looking for a magic number but a happy feeling. Happy = Healthy or vice versa…

I hope you all are still out there ready to move forward along with me but if you have moved on I get that too!! My original starting weight as 310 … now that’s a pretty number.  When I weighed in at the New Year I was 301 but I am since down to 298. Again, nothing to brag about but it’s still not 310. That is always my highest weight.

If anyone is out there looking for someone to work with, as in, motivate each other. I would love that. I would also love to join a blog challenge or a Facebook group challenge if you are willing. info@skinnysized.com



Thursday, August 13, 2015

Scooby Doo Where Are You?

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Thursday, August 13, 2015 0 comments Links to this post


I could lie and tell you that I have JUST been busy. The truth is I have been busy but the lie would come in that that was my only problem. In all honesty I have not been motivated to do anything… nothing at all. I don’t work out, and I don’t watch what I eat and I don’t do squat.

I think I am a little depressed. I can’t find a job which hurts my heart. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on an education that has left me unemployed. It makes me so sad. I don’t feel like getting up in the morning, I don’t want to exercise, and I have no desire to count a calorie. It’s pathetic, but it’s honest and it’s honestly me.

I am so ready for my life to move forward right now it just hangs there in the middle of no place, going no place, and getting nowhere. I see my life ticking by and nothing is changing. I feel like a total failure. I could have been in this same place without going to college. I have been on one interview and never heard a thing back. I guess they didn’t want me either.

I pray and I pray for something to give. I ask Jesus to help me and put me where I should be. For some reason nothing changes. I just keep hanging on and hanging on…

I am sorry I have been MIA I just don’t have anything good to report or bad for that matter other than the fact that I am not doing well. I hope you all are doing better than I am…

Friday, July 10, 2015

The Nightmare Continues...

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Friday, July 10, 2015 0 comments Links to this post




I would like to start this off by telling you that this has been a great week but sadly that would be a lie. The fact of the matter is that the last three weeks have been hell. I am still trying to find a job which is always a nightmare but so is my husband so that nightmare is now shear panic.

I have been so sick the last three weeks with a sinus infection that in all honesty I feel like shit all the time so much so that I am always having someone ask me if I am OK. Nope, not OK at all. Finally yesterday I called the doctor to see if he would send me an antibiotic. He was so kind to do so without seeing me. Praise God! I am hoping that this will kick off me feeling better. I am just tired of it and everything else to be honest with you.

I feel like I have reached my breaking point. I am just on edge all the time, worried all the time, now add the sinus infection on top of that… losing weight and worrying about my weight have not been my priority.  It should be but it hasn’t…

This week my husband had a ton of interviews so I would go with him and hang out in the car. I know that sounds weird but we really are a team and it’s just what we have done for each other for the last 10 years. It’s our thing. One day I waited in the car for 4 hours. Seriously? Who does a 4 hour interview… it didn’t even pan out in the end…

I hope I can get it together this coming week. The last three weeks have been epic failures and I have no one to blame but myself. My husband said he wants to go balls out next week with food and working out. We will see if he holds true to that…

I hope you are all doing well and have a great weekend! 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Weighting on Life Wednesday: Boys and Dating..,

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Wednesday, July 08, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

There are so many things in life I realize I have either missed out on or continue to miss out on because of my weight. One of those things was dating.

I never really dated in high school. There was some boys that would show me attention but it was normally negative attention. Even if I did get boys who were interested in me it was normally because they thought I was easy and desperate.

I suppose they were really the desperate ones if they had to look to the fat chick in homes of getting a little something from her. When all of my friends were going out on dates or having crushes on boys I was the one who sat in silence for fear of being asked about boys myself.

I didn’t want to put any boy in the weird position of knowing that I had a crush on him. I wouldn’t even let my mind think that way for fear nothing would come of it other than ridicule.

I remember having a crush on a football player. He was one of the nobodies in school. Even though he was in the team he wasn’t good and he wasn’t popular. I remember going to a pep rally and him making a point of sitting next to me. I know he knew I had a crush on him and in all honesty I think he felt the same way. We both knew it would never go anyplace but it was fun while it lasted. He would graduate a year before me and I would never see him again. It’s funny how things change and people change.

It is sad how we miss out on so much in life because of our weight. It’s really sad. I know that God puts us where we need to be when we need to be there, but it doesn’t change the fact that we sabotage so much of our lives with our weight. If we could only go back and start over. How do you think your life would be different?

Thinking about all that you are missing out on or have missed out on certainly gives you pause to think and just might give you a reason to make better decisions… 

Monday, July 6, 2015

How My Perspective Changed! The My Fitness Pal Truth!

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, July 06, 2015 0 comments Links to this post

OK so before anyone starts jumping on me let me say that I always knew that the Myfitnesspal exercise calorie count would not be correct when it came to how many calories you were burning while you were exercising. I knew this…

What I didn’t know was just how far the count would be off. I always suspected it would be off. That just made sense to me, but after getting my Polar FT4 fitness watch I got a rude awakening as to just how far off Myfitnesspal was!

I WAS an avid rider of the exercise bike until I started using the Polar FT4! I thought (that’s what I get for thinking) that I was burning around 689 calories for a vigorous 30 minute bike ride! Boy is that number way off! It’s not even close to what I am actually burning. According to my Polar FT4 for a 30 minute vigorous bike ride I am actually only burning 223 calories.

Talk about heart breaking! I mean serious! 30 minutes going 20 miles an hour on an exercise bike is only about equal to eating two 100 calorie snack packs? Give me a break! That is a lot of work for so few calories!


For toning obviously it’s a great ride but it’s not a great ride when we are talking about burning calories. I was heartbroken. I mean really heartbroken. Like I said I knew Myfitnesspal would be off but I didn’t realize that far off. Now I think about all the times that I would eat some of those calories back and now it makes even more sense as to why some weeks I thought I should be losing but wasn’t.

It has also make me have a lot of resentment. So much resentment that getting on the bike (mentally) has almost been impossible. Don’t get me wrong I have other things I can use. I have a treadmill, stairmaster, bands, weights, stepper for aerobics and all that jazz, but the bike has made me angry. I am really angry at the bike lol. I resent wasted hours expecting results that I wasn’t getting! I get exercise is exercise and it’s awesome that you are getting it but I want what I was expecting. Now I am expecting very little on the bike and that’s what I am getting… very little

Don’t get me wrong I don’t blame Myfitnesspal I think they have an awesome sight. I blame myself for believing something when I had no proof!

The moral of this story is getting a heartrate monitor so that you can actually see the results and see what you are really doing is a key ingredient to your weight loss success. I would hate to think anyone else would fall into the trap I did.

It’s worth the investment and it’s something you can use for a great deal of time!


Saturday, July 4, 2015

Week #4 Update! Down a total of 20.8 Pounds

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Saturday, July 04, 2015 0 comments Links to this post


I ended up weighing in early this week. I knew we had a lot of weekend plans that could mean not being able to make the best choices. I am OK with that because I know that no matter what weight I am at there will always be holidays and I know that it’s OK to splurge on occasion.

I am pleased with my weigh in this week. I saw an exact 2 pound weight loss! Considering that this past week didn’t exactly go as planned I am happy with the results.
The job hunt is still at a standstill. I am so frustrated by this whole process. I swear I was more qualified to work before I had a degree. I am either over qualified or under qualified it seems in just about every position. No one even wants to give me a chance. To say that is depressing is an understatement!

Post workout sweat!


I have been trying to let it go and know that when it’s meant to be it will be. In the mean time I have been trying to do some new workouts like step aerobics, running (for as long as I can) and stair master. Wow talk about feeling uncomfortable in places I have never felt discomfort before. It’s actually a good thing and I am pleased with everything I am feeling. In all honesty I love feeling the soreness because to me that means I am making a difference!

Starting Weight: 310
Current Weight: 289.2

Total Loss: 20.8 pounds down!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Week #2 of Stumbling Along...

Posted by Kody at Skinny Sized at Monday, June 29, 2015 0 comments Links to this post


This is one of my favorite afternoon snacks!
Hi Everyone,

So needless to say the last two weeks have been an epic failure. As a matter of fact last week I hit the skidz! I am in such a dark and depressed mood that I had very little motivation to move any part of my body much less workout. My period was coming and did at the end of the week so that was part of it.

The other part was the heartaches of finding a job. I just wish someone would give me a chance. The fact of the matter is that I am a very loyal person and if you treat me right I will stick around. I haven’t had very many jobs in my life because I stay until the job runs out. I am a quick learner especially when it comes to computers but so far no one is very interested. I guess time will tell…

I plan to get back on it this week and feel better about myself. It’s been hard, and when hard time are sitting in it’s really hard to look forward and think positively. I know I have to in order to move on with my life. I think when life gets settled again things will get easier for me.
Microwave these for 20 seconds at a time for 1 minute to make awesome pepperoni chips! Love them!!

I wouldn’t normally reach out to strangers for a prayer but if you have in it you will you say a prayer that my husband and I find jobs quickly. Things don’t happen as fast as I would like them too, but nothing moves at the speed we want it to do they?
Well I am planning on weighing in when I wake up in a few hours so I will let you all know how that goes. I hope you are all doing well on your weight loss journey. If you know anyone doing a challenge I would love to join in. I feel like I need a support system to get involved with. Maybe that will give me the motivation I need.


I hope all is well for you all!!
 

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